Hey all,
My dad (70yo) just got a gym membership to the local 24hour fitness, and he seems at least somewhat motivated to go often. However, the last time he considered a gym routine, he went for about 2 days then gave up for nearly a decade. During this time, he hasn’t really done any exercise whatsoever beyond the occasional gardening. He used to be really active on his feet as a younger guy, but his glory days were mainly limited to cardiovascular fitness (soccer/volleyball) back in Iran during what seems to be a prehistoric era by now.
My question: What can I do to help encourage him to consistently go 1x/week?
He’s a very stubborn guy who isn’t really susceptible to peer pressure, and the primary reason he wants to gym is due to overall muscle/strength loss. I’m pretty sure he’s terrified of becoming immobile and unable to enjoy the deeper complexities of life, like staring at his phone all day and yelling at bad drivers. He has type 2 diabetes and suffers from a bunch of back & hip related issues, but the man is genuinely a tank and effectively has no pain receptors. Slipping a disc here and there, tearing his labrum, the good ol’ yearly kidney stone- nothing to be worried about, he says. He’s also retired, so time isn’t a debilitating issue. Just imagine your average Middle Eastern unc who smokes tons of cigs, avoids the doctor’s advice like it’s his job, drinks scalding hot tea all day, and has an enormous bubble gut.
His physical therapist has also given him a few shoulder exercises to rehab his torn labrum, so he is at least somewhat acquainted with the rehab aspect, but he never does the movements anyway 
. Realistically, it’s frustrating seeing him get both weaker and smaller over the years, and while he has dropped nearly 60lbs of weight through his fairly disciplined diet, he hasn’t done much exercise to balance the muscle loss. He currently weighs ~230lbs and is 5’10, so he’s definitely not skinny nor weak by any means, but his once giant calves are turning into chopsticks and he now has to resort to unhinged methods to open pickle jars.
Curious to hear what strategies other people have found to be helpful 
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Howdy!
First off, your dad sounds like a legend and it’s clear you love him. Relatable to my dad and I 
I think we can reframe this right from the jump and say that 1x/week works. For a detrained 70-year-old, once a week of resistance training still builds real strength and muscle, especially in the early days months when the beginner response is fastest. Set the bar at one lifting session a week, let him clear it every week, and let it grow from there only if he wants it to. A plan he’ll actually hit beats an “optimal one” he’ll quit in two days. As far as how to get him to do the 1-day per week, is it possible for you to go with him? Also, it would be great if while working out, he made friends with people who also go to the gym, for some additional social incentive.
So, I’d do the 1x/wk lifting and try to have him go for a walk a few days a week, like 10-15 minutes after dinner. No, it’s not “optimal”, but starting with a few specifics he agrees to can help get him started.
Then drive friction to near zero:
- A fixed plan of 4-5 machines he repeats every visit, so he’s never wandering the gym deciding what to do. Machines are ideal here: sit down, low skill, safe, easy to watch the number go up. It’s totally possible to get him to do barbell training, but it may be intimidating to start. Either way, the machine suggestion is just a starting point that I think stems from the common objection of “I could never do that” when seeing people do exercises like squats and deadlifts.
- Short sessions, ~30 minutes
- Anchor it to something he already does, e.g. an errand or similar that he’d otherwise be doing that gets him out of the house already. Tie the gym to an existing routine so it’s automatic instead of a daily decision.
- Off-peak hours so the place is quiet and not intimidating.
- Go with him
Use his motivation: this is how you keep opening your own pickle jars…or play with your grandkids. Let him watch a number climb week to week, because visible progress plus his own reasons will carry this much further than you pushing.
On the labrum drills he never does: if he’s going to the gym, he can either skip these or do them as a warm up. Loading the shoulder through normal training in ranges that feel okay is rehab, and he’ll do a movement he can watch get stronger long before he’ll do a boring drill. Same logic with the diabetes, resistance training helps blood sugar, which is a nice bonus if that motivates him.
Further reading
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I was actually thinking the same thing about going with him, haha. I think it’d also just be a nice father-son time anyway, plus I could babysit his technique a little bit. He’s also really good at spotting other Persian uncles in public and sparking random convos, so I’m sure even when he’s by himself it’ll motivate him a bit.
The walk recommendation is actually really helpful as well- I think he’ll love it. Maybe I can get my mom in on it as well 
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I’ll for sure start him on machines! As you suggested, he always scoffs when I even imply that he uses just the barbell for squats or to limit his range of motion. I do think there’s an aspect of embarrassment/ego here, namely not being able to lift multiple plates. Short sessions also make sense, and I definitely have to fight my own inclination for longer workouts here, lol.
I think what I’ll start off with is: Early-ish gym sessions (any time around 9am-3pm) after he does his grocery shopping/visits family/daily nap, limited exercise selection & duration focused around machines, fairly light weights with progressive loading, and me accompanying him here and there. I’ll let him prioritize gym exercises > highly specific shoulder rehab as I do think the monotony of the shoulder movements is what gets to him. Perhaps creating a routine with some variety of exercise choices might be helpful here too (e.g. giving him 2 options for leg press movements), but not enough to overwhelm him.
Thanks for the response and the further reading recs/templates as well, Jordan! I always look forward to reading my weekly digest of what folks post in the community. A lot to learn 
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