As a PED user, thank you for your testosterone episodes. More of your audience may be interested in this topic than you know, simply because the interested parties don’t take the time to create an anonymous account with an ironic username to make a post.
I learned a lot from your episodes and I agree with everything that you said.
I’ve been taking about 900mg of testosterone a week for almost 20 years. I haven’t had any noticeable side effects other than back hair.
I used to have my bloodwork monitored regularly by a doctor and at times I was able to see an endocrinologist. But as I’ve moved around it’s hard to find a specialist who is informed and willing to monitor you. The last endocrinologist I was referred to simply said, “I don’t work with people who take PEDs and you should stop taking them.”
I said that I understand and thanked him for his time. He was surprised, he said he thought I’d respond negatively.
But when I was being monitored, no one was ever concerned with anything in my blood results such as my liver, cholesterol, blood thickness, blood pressure, etc.
Personally I wish I had never taken more than 500mg. Because it’s hard to reduce your dosage – let alone stop using completely. It’s funny, but when I see people using as much or more than I do, I often think, “What’s the point? You’d still be athletic without taking that much.” But it’s hard to lower the dosage when you know that you won’t be as strong or muscular if you do.
Even though you know that your identity is more than how much you lift or how big your arms are – and that your loves ones absolutely do not care about these things – in my experience you don’t want to give up your magic elixir.
When any doctor suggested that I quit, I said that if I’m being honest, I don’t see any reason to quit other than the cost, and as you said, the risk of unknowns and contamination. If my usage was demonstrably harming me then I hope that I would feel differently. I’m not a better or superior person because I’m a bit stronger or more muscular than some. But I liked being strong and having muscles when I was natural, and I liked having more when I started using.
But it’s a slippery slope and if a friend asked me if they should use, I’d tell them that they may find it hard if not impossible to ever stop or reduce their dosage. I’d encourage them to consider if they can be content with being natural or at the least, taking a lower dosage. Being stronger or more muscular probably won’t make them happier, the money can probably get a better return elsewhere, and few if any people will care how strong or muscular they are. It’s not life changing. In short, I feel a bit like someone asking me if they should start smoking and saying, “It’s easy to start. Not so easy to stop.”