(I had put this one in the wrong category by mistake. copy/pasting it here. sorry about that).
Hey guys (I’m the Matt Reynolds from the facebook group in case y’all recognize my name from there).
This is about a very strange back pain experience that I don’t hear others talk about much. Here’s the background as concisely as possible:
34
5’11"
230 pounds
male
I trained regularly throughout my 20s and pushed very hard in having a big squat/bench/deadlift. I ended up with a 405 squat, 200 bench, and 550 deadlift at 181 and I always pulled with a very rounded back. I never had any issues and almost never experienced back pain other than a tweak from time to time.
Covid hit in 2020 and training became very sporadic like everyone. I developed a lot of issues such as mild to moderate alcoholism and binge eating. I went from 180s to over 220 pounds. Training was rough and I’d start and stop programs and then not show up for weeks to months. The cycle continued.
In about 2022 or so I noticed that when I returned to training, my strength was basically all miraculously still there and my bench had somehow improved. I could return to near PR lifts within a few weeks. I suspect being fatter helped but I’m not sure. So I returned to training at near full volume and intensity within only 6-8 weeks of returning after the long layoff (i think I was running powerbuilding 1 and 2 or hypertrophy 1/2 or something). I reasoned that since most sets were indeed at RPE 8 or so, it wasn’t too much volume. In hindsight, this was a mistake.
This was when my back pain started. I’ll get to the specific nature of the pain in a moment. This wasn’t my last cycle of indulgence. From 2022 to this year, 2024 I would have a few more cycles of alcoholism and binge eating along with sporadic short periods of very poorly disciplined training. It’s almost accurate to say I was barely training at all. My weight ballooned to 240. I lost 40 pounds at one point and regained it due to the cycle.
Now, I’m 3 months sober and have been training regularly and am down to 227 pounds and attempting to undo the damage of my behavior. But now for the back pain. I’ve been experiencing this pain off and on since 2022 mentioned above, and it just hasn’t gone away. I assume returning to training at nearly full volume/intensity so quickly is to blame. But the symptoms are very strange.
The symptoms:
Sometimes there’s no pain at all. Only WEAKNESS. I struggle to bend over (even completely unweighted). It will be as if there’s a huge weight attached to my neck. It’s as if my brain is simply not allowing me to recruit the muscles. I will struggle to deadlift 95 pounds on occasion. But here’s the interesting part. If my brain is simply “reminded” that the movement is safe, then I can lift the weight (almost) like normal. For example, I sometimes will literally fail a 95 pound deadlift at the knees because my brain is simply not letting me pull. It really is as if my brain is outright shutting down muscle recruitment. I will return the weight to the floor, and then on second attempt suddenly be able to lift the weight easily and the weight speeds up throughout the set. But it gets better, if I put on a lifting belt, the symptoms will disappear ALMOST ENTIRELY. It really is as if my brain simply needs some kind of reassurance that the movement is safe and then I can lift relatively normally. I’ve never heard of anyone else describing an experience like this.
Most often there’s little pain, it’s as I described above. But unfortunately, my training and day to day life is still significantly hindered because as soon as I dial up the intensity at all, moderate sessions still hundreds of pounds below my usual max will trigger severe pain episodes. Sometimes even simply playing guitar or sitting up at the dinner table in a slightly awkward position for a bit will trigger a severe pain episode. In these severe pain episodes, i will get STABBING pain at the slightest wrong move to where I can’t avoid crying out in pain. These episodes will usually last a few hours and then I’m fine.
What I’ve attempted:
I’ve attempted to use the bbm pain in training what do method now several times. I will find entry points, but after weeks of very very slowly incrementing the weight, I will end up right back where I was with the regular pain episodes and bizarre weakness basically ruining my training and day to day life. This has been going on for over 2 years now and after all this time I’m finally starting to "catastrophize. I don’t like the idea of going to the doctor because my friends have gone and they just get the most awful advice (don’t deadlift more than 225 ever, that kind of thing). And of course I suspect any look at my back would reveal some abnormalities that could be blamed for the pain.
I know body weight is not directly linked with back pain but my hope is at least that losing significant bodyweight will help. I store my weight around my midsection mostly and need to get sub 185 pounds to be a sub 40 inch waist. Anyway, I’ll stop rambling now. Forgive the long post but I felt detail here was necessary. I know you can’t solve the problem via a forum response but I’m mostly wondering if this is something I should be concerned about and should seek some real help. Thanks guys!
Matt R