Hello. I want to start out by saying that I appreciate the content that you guys put out and love the philosophy of lifting for longevity. Anyway, I have a bit of a problem I was hoping to get some thoughts on. (American/imperial unit system). This is a really long-winded one. I hope this isn’t an information overload, but please bear with me 
Background: 22yo male. First occurrence of back pain was about 12 months ago. I was running a (probably too high volume) upper/lower split and taking kickboxing classes at night. The night before, this first episode, I tried some partner assisted stretches (sitting on the ground with legs spread, pushed far into lumbar forward and lateral flexion). Felt fine after those. Went to train squats and deadlift the next day. Warmed up to a set of I think 3x175, and backed off the weight with increasing volume. As I came up from a set of 10x145, I started to feel a non-specific painful ache after squatting with what, I realized in hindsight, was a hyperextended spine. I just thought my back felt a little stiff, so I went to go do some sumo deadlifts and couldn’t lift 95 without pain, so I packed it up and went home. I did the absolute worst thing for the next week in the form of time off training and constant googling for relief stretches. That was fine though, all pain went away after about a week, and I decided to return on an LP.
I decide on a 5x5 LP for whatever reason and start squatting at 135, a trivial weight for me at the time. No trouble building up until around 185ish, which was my previous PR for sets of 5. I started to notice tightness and excruciating pain in both of my hamstrings during the day, but continued to squat for the next two weeks hoping it would go away. Around 200 pounds, the bilateral hamstring pain morphed into what I now intimately know as sciatica, primarily down my right leg but some positions could (and can) trigger it less intensely down my left. I kept training until 5x5x215@10 after which I decided the pain was too much to push through. I have a video of that set and the deadlift set where I’m walking up to the bar with this totally messed up walking pattern that looks like I dropped a giant log in my sweatpants. After about two more weeks of sporadic training at lighter loads, my college semester ended and I decided to just do nothing all winter except get high. Not my proudest moment, but whatcha gonna do.
With the start of my next semester and way too much googling and catastrophizing, I decided my back wouldn’t get any better if I didn’t do anything about it. I was able to walk kind of normally again, and I realized that I’m not satisfied being sedentary, so it was time to get after it. I started lifting on a 5x5 LP again and scheduled some PT appointments. I’ll just close that one off immediately and say the PT did absolutely nothing to help, just told me I strained something and gave me some stretches and ankleweight exercises. In the gym, squatting aggravated the sciatica, though not unbearably, and deadlifting made it feel a little better in the short term. I was able to ohpress and row with no problems, but had to bench with my feet up. As I worked up and finished 5x5x185@9, COVID hit and gyms plus PT closed. The PT wanted to refer me to a surgeon so I’m kinda glad that got nixed, but I was a little lost without the barbell.
Fast forward through the summer which included a bunch of pushups, tree pullups, and air squats. Gyms in my area finally reopened two weeks ago, and I figured it was now or never to try to truly utilize the barbell as medicine. Just prior, I had started reading back mechanic. I understand that mcgills biomechanical model isn’t supported by the literature. I only read half the book and have made sure not to internalize any kinesiophobia, but it did help my identify my pain triggers, which are pretty consistent. If I try to extend my spine even the tiniest bit, I notice that my lumbar spine doesn’t move at all, but my pelvis moves into the anterior tilt position and immediately triggers the pain, regardless of sitting or standing. I can also trigger the pain with a near end-of-range flexed lumbar spine and a flexed neck, but it’s usually fine if my neck is neutral or extended. Lateral flexion and unloaded twisting are fine, and I cant usually tolerate a distill load if I focus on bracing my core and posteriorly tilting the pelvis. I do the big 3 exercises not because I think they work directly but because I feel like I have a more active role in my recovery and appreciate the core strength benefits. Anyway, back to the gym…
Two weeks ago, I got under the bar again. 5x5x95 was too painful, so I held off on squatting while I got back into it on deadlifts (no pain, even at @8), bench (no pain with feet off the floor), and ohpress (no pain). Two sessions later, I tried squatting 3x15x45 after reading the Pain in Training article, and felt good for the rest of the session. Over a week I built up to 3x10x105, and felt relief even outside the gym (I could do things like sneeze and descend stairs without triggering my pain, even with a load of laundry in my hands.) On Thursday I got overzealous and worked up to 3x5x135, and felt the pain on my right side coming up on every rep. Since then, my pain has been back to “normal” levels consistent with the last 5 months. I also recently noticed during both warm up and working sets the my hips shift laterally at the bottom of the hole, although I’m not sure if that’s a form issue or an anatomy issue; I only noticed when my first-leg-day-in-5-month DOMS were more pronounced on my left leg. I’m not sure if this is a contributing factor to my issues or simply unrelated; I just found it worth noting.
My plans are to start squatting with the bar (again) and work up with the weights, this time much more slowly. I’m not sure if that’ll help my inability to extend the spine, but hopefully the gradual buildup in loads will have the same effects as far as reducing pain, this time more consistently. My primary concern is honestly as much with my mindset as it is with my pain. I’ve spent the last year figuratively bending over backwards for the literal ability to bend over backwards, to no avail. I have an overactive mind so I find myself google symptoms, even though I know it’s extremely unhealthy, and get results like “once damaged, the facet joints cannot heal, but there are lifestyle changes you can make to manage your pain” that just make me feel totally defeated. I’ve never even been diagnosed, I’ve just inferred it’s a facet joint problem since it’s one of the most common reasons for extension intolerance. There’s also the paralysis analysis of “who can I get a reliable assessment on this from and won’t just tell me I have a bulging disc or something and recommend surgery?” Forgive me, I’m kind of ranting and I already wrote a whole book. Not to be too dramatic, but when I discovered lifting it was one of the few places I could find solace from the world, and even that’s been marred with suffering. I just want to get back to the good and honest grind.
I guess what I’m looking for are any general thoughts/comments, recommendations moving forward, or even just some encouragement. If anyone’s made it this far, thank you so much for bearing with me, and I wish you the best.